Sex Etiquette – Rules of the Bedroom

Sex Etiquette – Rules of the Bedroom

As kids, we are taught manners that we carry with us for the rest of our lives. Some of our parents told us to “do unto others”, and to say “please” and “thank you” to those of use and value to you. Manners build attitude, which can ultimately make or break a relationship. Being in the hot and steamy bedroom is no different.

Experts believe that more communicative couples can benefit from having the kind of sex and intimacy that they want and treasure. There are also times, however, when a not-so-positive aspect of sex becomes an obstacle to conquer, usually by our own personal insecurities or fears about the other person. The bottom line is to be calm, kind, and assertive, and to not always be thinking of yourself. Here are just a few tips to improve your sexual etiquette:

1. Sex is Not Gross (embarrassing sounds, fluids)

Sex, to some people, possesses a few aspects that can be unpleasant, gross, or unsatisfying. After all, it is probably one of the rawest, most humblest of human acts and it involves a slight mess, especially for women.

Women generate a lot of moisture down there in the heat of the moment, and the closer they get to orgasm, the more fluid they produce. Men on the other hand, only take a quick pop at the end, and even that fluid is contained inside a condom or his partner’s vagina.

The fact is, however, that men are a little less concerned with your grossness. Many times, they will dive right in for oral sex, just like you do. If you’re feeling insecure about your messiness, don’t stay messy. Maybe you can suggest to your man that you have a hot, warm shower together afterwards. This is still an intimate act, and is a great way to wind down and clean up before heading back to bed.

2. Calling Him Out on Dirtiness

We all know that guys are world-renown for being smelly, hairy, dirty human beings. Most women know and accept this, and have already learned to deal with many of their man’s body odors, hairy patches, and coffee breath. Sometimes though, you may find yourself often turned-off in the heat of the moment, and this can make things unpleasant for both of you.

You need to call him out, but when you do, try to make it as flirty and sexy as you can. This is about sex, not being nice. Try something like, “There’s nothing like when I can have you fresh and clean out of the shower,” or, “That fresh, minty mouthwash makes me want to kiss you all night long.” By creating a benefit for him through the suggestion on cleanliness, he’ll do it more often, because it’s a gateway to sex.

3. Getting Tested

It is perfectly normal to be extra cautious with your partner and to want to get tested for disease. This is very common with new couples, however long-time couples have also been known to get tested, simply because they never did before. However, bringing this up to your man the wrong way can have him thinking you don’t trust him, or that you only care about your own safety.

Point out to your man that you’d perform better, and feel more comfortable if you knew he was clean. Remind him that it’s one of the most sensible thing that you can do, and that there’s nothing to be ashamed about. Perhaps you’re not even sure about yourself. A good idea might be to head down and get tested together; that way, it is mutual, and equally reassuring for both you and him.

4. Rejecting Sex Positively

Everything has seemed normal throughout your day, and the sun has now gone down and the nightly chores get done. When it comes time for bed, the last thing on your mind is sex. Your man, however, has his mind set on fooling around and keeps nudging you to comply. Do you comply just to make him happy and use up all your useless energy, while faking orgasm and not enjoying it? The answer, is no.

If you don’t feel like having sex, you need to tell him this. It will only either end up in conflict in the middle of sex, or it will be unpleasant and tedious for you. You need to be honest with each other and not force something that doesn’t want to happen. There’s always tomorrow. Tell him truthfully that you are not in the mood and that it has nothing to do with him. Let him know how sorry you are, give him a little kiss, and then go to sleep. There’s no use arguing about it, or making it into something bigger than it is. You’re just not in the mood, big deal.

5. Directing Your Guy

Many ladies never figure out that if they talk to their man the right way when having sex, it can turn out not only just the way they wanted, but sometimes even better. A guy doesn’t like directions initially, but when the project is done he is glad to have looked over them.

Tell him that what he does is good, but that maybe you should also try something else. Don’t tell him that what he’s doing is awful, that will make him insecure and bog down his confidence. Instead, tell him what you like and say it in a fashion that will make you look attractive and comfortable with your sexual self. Guys like this, and they will strive to meet your needs just so they can meet theirs.

6. The Art of the One-Night-Stand

Let’s face it: some of us haven’t found that lucky someone, that man who will sweep us off our feet and share a bed with you for the rest of your life. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t remain sexually active. You can still have casual sex without being a slut by making your points in a lady-like fashion, and using the right words.

Let’s say you’re up for sex, but not up for sleep with this man. Try to take it to his house if this is the case, as it is much ruder to kick someone out of your bed at 6 PM than it is to leave his bed.

Alternatively, let’s say you’re totally not interested in this man other than sexually. This is fine, and does not make you a slut (guys think like this all the time). Rather than let things drag out into nothing, don’t mention anything about phone calls when you leave. Tell him you had a wonderful time and that you will see them around. A couple days later or maybe even the next day, get in contact with him and tell him that you did not feel a connection. This makes you look very mature and considerate of him, as well.

7. Difficulties at the Finish Line

This is an age old difficulty that many men struggle to deal with. He’s hard, he’s hot, and he’s good, but he’s just too darn quick, too quick for you to enjoy anything. Fortunately for you, there are remedies for this, and they will benefit both you and your man.

The start-stop method is affective at training the man’s body to control the threshold of his climax so that he can keep going for longer. When it starts to get intense, tell him to bring the speed down about halfway and gradually work his way back up. When the intensity builds again, repeat the process to elongate the pleasure.

An alternate method is the quick-finish method. Have him finish as he usually does, maybe even faster, and then attempt a second run. The second time around will take him a lot longer, maybe even an hour longer than before. This will guarantee longer sex, but make sure you’ve got some moves up your sleeve to help arouse your man a second time.

Don’t become a rude sexual partner; be true to yourself and be that sweet, kind, yet sexy and assertive lady that you know you can be.


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