8 blow job secrets every man keeps

8 blow job secrets every man keeps

“Blow job secrets” sounds almost eerie. It implies he has a leather bound blow job diary that he writes in with a quill. It conjures up images of men in cloaks meeting in hidden chambers lit only by candlelight to discuss blow jobs. Although it’s not all that serious, he still does have some facts he keeps to himself. They’re not the type of secrets that burden him for the rest of his days. They’re more like something kind of weird he doesn’t feel like telling you in case you get mad.

1. He might prefer it to sex. This is a universally relatable fact: It’s nice to just lie down and have your genitals serviced while you don’t have to do anything. It’s the spa treatment of sex acts. But he’ll probably keep this one quiet because there’s no right way to tell someone, “I prefer it when you make me orgasm and I don’t do anything at all.”

2. He could’ve finished a while ago but he’s holding off. Yes, he’s being a bit selfish because it feels so good. Sorry in advance.

3. At one point or another, he’s entertained the fantasy of getting a blow job while he watches TV. What?? How fun would that be??

4. You miiiiiight have scraped his penis with your teeth a little bit. If it like, actually hurt him, you’ll know it. But if it was just enough to make him wince, he’ll probably keep it to himself. Accidents happen, and there is no way in hell he’s going to risk exiting the blow job train prematurely.

5. You could probably ask him to do just about anything during a blow job and he’d agree to it. If you need a major favor or there’s an unresolved argument you want to win, bring it up mid-blow job. He’ll probably say just about anything because there is only enough room in his brain to focus on the task at hand. Want to paint the bedroom purple? Watch an episode of your favorite show without him? Now’s the time to ask. Actually, don’t actually do this. With great power comes great responsibility.

6. He’s holding onto your hair so he can actually see what’s going on. You might think he’s holding your locks back to be chivalrous, and that could be true, but he’s also just making sure your hair doesn’t get in the way of his view. It is a very, very, nice view.

7. Part of him is probably hoping you’ll do something with his balls. No pressure if balls are not your thing, no one is blaming you for not finding them the most aesthetically pleasing body part in existence. (They are not). But if you’re into incorporating them into a blow job scenario, he will not object to some gentle squeezing.

8. There’s really no such thing as a bad blow job. Blow jobs are a Pass/Fail kind of deal. Unless he needs medical attention post BJ, it was probably great.